Hello light bulb moment !
Isn’t it incredible, how you feel so lost in the dark , so defeated until that moment. That moment before you completely give up, and call It quits. That light bulb comes on and what once was a lost in the dark insecure moment , instantly turns into a sudden knowing of everything you need to know. Hopefully your light-bulb moment comes easier than mine. The light-bulb literally has to hit me over the head, and be a spotlight before I get it ! #StoryOfMyLife
Rewind to a year ago , I’m what you would call a delayed reactor. When I say delayed , I mean like a year delayed. One year ago, I found myself , post 11 year marriage ( I was convinced he was my person , we had an absolute wonderful relationship, looking back not even sure how we lost our way , but it’s definitely part of a bigger plan ) so I’m there completely lost , have absolutely no idea where I’m going, or what’s next. I feel completely lost, empty, and wondering OK God ! Hello 
remember me ? My name is Brianna , and I am here ! I know There is so much more to life than this. Really working 50-70 hours a week, managing a high volume restaurant with a mobile catering truck servicing San Diego and Orange County, and going to church/ bible study as often as I can ! Can we say overworked, and unfulfilled Life? I have no Huge Testimonial story , of going down a wrong path , and God saving me. I do have many stories of how God has showed up and blessed me in small ways.
So , as I sit week after week, hearing about God, and his gift giving abilities, spiritual gifts that is ( of course) . I see the evangelistic teams and am completely sure, I need to do that! I start to study how To become one ( Later finding out evangelism was not my gift ) #toungetied! As I sit and watch everyone serving at the church, they seem to be perfectly fit according to their God given Spiritual Gift, and here I sit .... No Gift ... No idea what God wants me to do, but I know without a doubt God is calling me to do big things, and I just missing his signs. That or I don't get them. Have ya'll ever felt like God is telling you something, and you just don't get it ? HOLD , on I promise, if you are patient during the time on waiting. He will show up in a big way. I felt God calling me to serve , And cried out to him to show me where he wants me , and give me the courage and grace to listen. However, every once in a while I get an idea , and wonder is it him , or is that me? Is it my brain with another crazy idea. #crazylady The hardest part is knowing if it is really his guidance or you brain. When the same thing kept repeating itself , I knew it was definitely God. But it was eight months of unknown, he was calling me to slow down , listen. When I was not at work, I just spent time praying , seeking ....
One Sunday service , I am in the middle of my favorite worship song , and I know God is telling me to start a blog. What? a blog? Why ? I am singing and in my head thinking , Really? a blog? what should I call it I ask , instantly PBJ comes up..... Powered by Jesus ! Ok Lord a blog I shall make. I came home, on fire with my passion! The Lord wants me to reach others with a blog..... I put together PBJ , Powered by Jesus.... Now what? What now Lord? What do you want me to say? nothing... GREAT , he wants me to wait....
So I pray , I seek , I knock , and nothing.... So I do the next best thing..... Keep doing my daily to do as I wait........ keep focusing on work , keep breaking records , and seeking the Lord. What was very interesting to me , was the thrill of my success at work , no longer filled that void. The void of my true calling....
I hate to read.... and by hate , I mean despise reading .... Yet I subscribe to a monthly box , well a faithbox ,which arrives at my doorstep every month, with faith filled Items. In desperation to fill my soul I think maybe this box will contain what I need, in terms of what I should be doing with my life . It felt like months until my box arrived and here is my first box. I get a Book 
, a second book , a daily devotion book to read everyday , two small trinkets ,and an I owe you for a TicTacToe travel game. Do you see the humor at what God sends me? So , I left the pile of goodies in the middle of my coffee table , and moved on to my to do list for the day .
However, I kept feeling called to read the book that had arrived in my faithbox. At this point, I was extremely overworked , and my soul left completely empty. One thing about managing a restaurant, and dealing with the public is, if you are not careful , you become a person you no longer like. Ok back to the book, I read it in one night, it was like water to my dehydrated soul. It was everything I had already known about, slowing down , not letting yourself get over worked , and taking time to feed your soul. It was so refreshing I ran out and got another book , and than another, and so on. I took each one, and prayed on the parts that stood out to me. I knew God was keeping me in this time of waiting for a reason. I am not one who does waiting on the Lord well.Thats the inpatient part of me . I am used to running 22 hours of the day , day after day , being a top performing manager , with top performing teams from nothing. Time after time, my supervisors have told me I have an incredible talent of seeing the potential in people who are over looked , and believing in them , until they can believe in themselves. Hello ? That is not me! its GOD ! He blessed me with these people! Time after time , they say no, its you . No I'm sure its GOD.....
Fast forward , eleven months , within a month time period God has put me in several situations on several occasions , where I have to work side by side with someone who seems to learn at a slower pace, and I have to have patients in dealing with them. I just laugh and think , ok Lord I get it Patience is what I need to learn.
Yesterday, I felt extremely blessed to have the opportunity to serve at Operation Christmas Child processing Center. Literally , my position had to look in each box for prohibited items on the list , and replace those items with more toys. I felt so lucky to stuff these boxes , for these children. I have volunteered many times over the years with Elementary Kids, and it has been rewarding.
Hours later , I was moved to head of table, where I now was in charge of opening the larger carton , removing each individual child's box , remove the shipping money donation, pass it on to the inspector/suffer , who then passed it to the box taper , who separated them based on gender/ age group, and into final shipping box . I found myself in the leader role , multi tasking , as the other volunteers worked at a slower pace , so i started doing 2 or 3 positions at once and needed to slow down and extend patience with my fellow volunteers. Ok God , I see it again, I need to be patient TEAM PLAYER.....
Next day, I woke up on a normal day, do my daily devotional , as I always do. I read about Noah , and his obedience to build the Ark. I have seriously heard/read this story many times , and this time reading the words about Noah , and how it took him 120 years to build this ark , in a time when it did not rain , and how he was completely content with being the crazy guy, building an ark, in a generation where it didn't rain , because God told him too? ! WOW ! Can you imagine being Noah ? Hello , I don't even want to do something for 1 min and 20 seconds , while knowing people think what I am doing is crazy, let alone 120 years! I prayed to God ," please Lord, make me more like Noah , I want to do your will , with his kind of faith !"
Knowing I will have to work Sunday, I usually would just skip church that week , but everything inside me screamed NO. You need this message! So , I went to Saturday night service on Service with Grace. Here he is talking about how we should serve , and why. I have heard this a million times , and I do not have this spiritual gift to serve with.. NONE! I have read about them , I have been told about them , and nothing.... I sat and listened and the pastors going thru the list , if your a teacher , teach NOPE NOT ME , and BAM , here is comes.... LIGHT BULB ON .....if your gifted with the ability to be a leader than LEAD . I was gifted to lead! I was not forgotten! Thais my gift! ...... I have spent years , and years building top performing teams , who produce top dollar profits , with the least likely to succeed people , by the Grace of GOD. I just have to figure out how to incorporate my gift in a serving nature. i have to open and available to be used by God to lead a team or teams in his name.... just the same way I have done in the corporate world. Mix my proven success with my passion for the lord.
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